Regretfully… How to Decline Invitations Gracefully

You can't go. Although you would love to attend—your social calendar is already overflowing with invitations. No matter what the reason, declining an invitation gracefully is almost as good as making a memorable appearance. And if you do it right, you'll remain on the guest list for the next event.

Respond to an invitation as soon as possible—within just a few days after receiving it. Remember, a formal dinner invitation, or a written invitation of any kind, deserves a written response, even if you're declining. If the hostess has included a reply or response card with the invitation, you can simply fill it out and return it. An even better choice is to include a note of appreciation with your reply card. This note should be written on premium stationery or a thank you card—there's almost no such thing as too much gratitude. This time, rather than saying thank you for the wonderful time you had at the party, you're thanking the hostess for thinking of you, explaining why you can't make it, and expressing your regret—of course you would love to be there.

On your personal stationery, try writing a note that looks something like this:

Annabelle—

Thank you so much for thinking of us! Of course we would love to celebrate John's birthday with you, but unfortunately we'll be on the Cape. My mother rented a house for the season, and we're having a family reunion that weekend. We would love to get together sometime soon—maybe dinner next Thursday?

Regretfully
Cindy and Geoff

See? It's not so hard. Your note should be brief and sweet—just like the invitation. Like a pairing of fine wine and cheese, the response ought to fit the invitation and your relationship with the hostess.