Widowed Parents

When one of the bride's parents is deceased, her wedding invitations are issued by her surviving parent. His or her name appears alone on the invitational line. In most cases, stepparents' names are not used.

A widow retains the use of her husband's name. If she has not remarried, she continues to be known as "Mrs." Andrew Jay Forrester. If she has remarried, she uses "Mrs." followed by her present husband's name. In this case, since the bride's surname is different from her mother's surname, the bride's full name appears on the fourth line of the invitation. The bride's name is not preceded by "Miss."

Two exceptions to the "no stepparents" rule occur when the bride's mother or father remarried and the bride's stepparent helped raise the bride from a young age, and then the bride feels especially close to her stepparent. In these situations, the name of the bride's stepparent may properly appear. When this is done, the third line of the invitation reads either, "at the marriage of her (his) daughter" or "at the marriage of Mrs. Davies' daughter." This suggests to your guests that, in this case, your mother is your natural parent. The use of "Mrs. Davies' daughter" is an older form that has been gradually disappearing from use. The vast majority of brides nowadays use "her daughter."

When is it appropriate to use "senior"?

A man who is a "junior" usually stops using "junior" upon his father's death. If he is married, his widowed mother uses "senior" to distinguish herself from her daughter-in-law. "Senior" should be spelled out using a lowercase s. It may be abbreviated to "Sr." when used with an especially long name.

My mother is a widow who has not remarried. She prefers the use of her first name. Can her name read, "Mrs. Mary Chance Forrester"?

A widow who has not remarried should use her deceased husband's name, preceded by "Mrs." (A divorced woman uses "Mrs." followed by her first, maiden, and married names.) If your mother would rather use her first name, she should do so without her title. Using names without titles on an invitation, however, is generally considered incorrect and makes the invitation less formal than it otherwise would be. If your mother's title is omitted, all other titles should be left off the invitation as well. This is done to keep the wording of the invitation consistent.

My father passed away last year and I would like to include his name on my wedding invitations. How is that done?

While wishing to include a deceased parent's name on a wedding invitation is a lovely sentiment, it is not proper to do so (except in Latin America). The essential purpose of a wedding invitation is to invite your guests to your wedding and to tell them where and when it is taking place. It lists the host or hosts of the event, what the event is (your wedding), and the date, time, and place. The only logical place to list your father's name is on an invitational line. This, however, is improper as he would be listed as one of the hosts of your wedding. Since he is deceased, he cannot be a host.

Your father's name is, of course, mentioned in your newspaper announcement and may also be mentioned in the wedding program and during a prayer said during the service. Your wedding is a joyous occasion. Reminding your guests of your father's death by adding "and the late Mr. Andrew Jay Forrester" introduces an element of sadness to an otherwise joyous occasion.

The Hispanic tradition, on the other hand, does include the name of a deceased parent. If the deceased parent is the bride's father, her mother's name appears alone on the first line and her father's name, followed by a small cross if Christian or a Star of David if Jewish, appears on line two. One note of caution: Your guests may not be familiar with this custom and may not understand the meaning of it.