Formal Responses

Although most wedding invitations are sent with reply cards, many are sent with a reply request engraved on the reception card instead. These invitations require a handwritten response. Formal responses are handwritten on ecru or white letter sheets. These sheets were traditionally blank but may now have a tasteful monogram blind embossed on the top.

Responses follow the format of the invitations. Since wedding invitations are issued in the third person, responses are written in the third person as well. The guests' full social names and titles are used while only the hosts' titles and surnames are written. On the envelopes, however, the hosts' full names are used with their titles. Acceptances repeat the date and time while regrets repeat just the date. There is no need to mention the reason for not attending.

Acceptance:

Mr. and Mrs. Edward Allen Singer
accept with pleasure
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. Forrester
for Saturday, the twenty-third of August
at six o'clock

Regret:

Mr. and Mrs. Edward Allen Singer
regret that they are unable to accept
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. Forrester
for Saturday, the twenty-third of August

In what color ink should responses be written?

Formal responses may be written in blue or black ink. Most people, however, prefer black ink since it usually matches the invitations.

When should responses be sent?

Most invitations mention the date before which responses are needed. Your response should be mailed so that it arrives before its deadline. If no date is mentioned, responses should be sent three days after the invitation is received.

How is the response written when children are invited?

The names used in your response should be the same as those written on the inside envelope you received. If your children are invited, their names will be listed on the face of the inside envelope, beneath yours. When writing your response, repeat the names as they are written on the inside envelope.

Mr. and Mrs. Edward Allen Singer
Esta, Janice and Barbara
accept with pleasure
etc.

My husband and I were both invited to my cousin's wedding. I will be able to go but my husband will be out of town. How should my response read?

Your response begins with a formal acceptance on your part. Your husband's regret is added at the end.

Mrs. Edward Allen Singer
accepts with pleasure
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. Forrester
for Saturday, the twenty-third of August
at six o'clock
Mr. Edward Allen Singer
regrets that he is unable to attend