Reception Cards

Reception cards are used whenever the wedding ceremony and reception are held in different places. Because they are at different locations, they are considered separate events. Therefore, they each require their own invitations. Reception cards are not necessary when the ceremony and the reception are held at the same place.

The first line on the reception card indicates the occasion. It reads "Breakfast" when occurring before one o'clock (regardless of the menu) and "Reception" when held at one o'clock or later.

The next line indicates the time and usually reads, "immediately following the ceremony." This phrase should not be taken literally as it simply means that the reception will start in, more or less, the amount of time it takes to get from the ceremony to the reception. If the reception is scheduled to start two or more hours after the ceremony ends, the phrase "immediately following the ceremony" should be replace with the appropriated time. The line may then read, "at eight o'clock."

The name of the facility at which the reception will take place is given on the third line. The address is usually shown on the fourth line, although it is omitted whenever the facility is very well known or when directions and map cards are used.

The city and state follow on the next line if they are not the same as those shown on the invitation. If the city and state do not appear on the reception card, it is assumed that the reception is in the same town as the wedding. Likewise, if the city is different but the state is the same, you need only mention the city. These are options. You may, however, under any circumstances use both city and state.

When reply cards are not being sent, a reply is requested in the lower left-hand corner of the reception card. Corner lines are engraved in a smaller size than the body of the reception card.

The top line asks your guests to reply by stating either, "The favour of a reply is requested," "R.s.v.p.," or "R.S.V.P." All three are considered proper. However, in some regions, such as the southern United States "The favour of a reply is requested" is preferred while "R.s.v.p." is frowned upon.

The address to which the replies are to be sent is shown on the following two lines. The address shown is the address of the person whose name first appears on the wedding invitation. So if the invitation was issued by your parents, the lines would contain your parents' address. If you would like to have the replies sent to you, you must put your name, preceded by your title, on the lines beneath the reply request.

Whether you use your address or your parents' address, you should always include an address on your reception cards to reply to even when the same address appears on the invitation's outside envelope (except when also sending reply cards). People tend to discard envelopes, especially when there is an additional inside envelope. If some of your guests throw out their envelopes and there is no address inside, they may not be able to reply. This could result in your having to make some unnecessary phone calls.

What is the correct spelling of "favor"?

Both "favor" and "favour" are correct. Like "honor" and honour," it is a matter of personal preference, although the vast majority of brides prefer the English spelling, "favour." If you use the English spelling of "honour," use the English spelling of "favour" also, for consistency.

My wedding reception will include a sit-down dinner. How is that indicated?

In most cases, no special designation is made. Many brides, however, worry that their guests might not know that a meal will be served and will make other plans for dinner. You may alert your guests about the dinner by engraving, "Dinner Reception" on the top line of your reception cards.

How do I let my guests know that there will be dancing at the reception?

While some brides use "Dinner and Dancing" on the first line of their reception cards, it is usually not necessary to do so. If there is a band and a dance floor, people will dance.

Although we love our nieces and nephews, we would rather not have any children at our wedding. How can we nicely tell our guests that their children are not invited?

The names of the family members that you are inviting are written on the inside envelope. If children are not invited to your wedding, their names are simply left off the inside envelope. Thus, when "Mr. and Mrs. Sterling" is written on the outside envelope, it means only that Mr. and Mrs. Sterling are invited, not their children. If their children were to be invited, the inside envelope would read:
Mr. and Mrs. Sterling
Kathryn, Robby, and John

Of course most people are not familiar with this point of etiquette and a corner line reading, "No children, please" seems a bit cruel, so what else can you do? The best solution is to talk to your family members and friends with children and let them know that, although you would really love to invite their children, expenses (or whatever) prevent you from doing so. A possible compromise might to invite children to the ceremony but not to the reception. This, too, is best handled by talking it over with those involved.

We are having a formal reception. Where do the words "Black tie" appear?

The words, "Black tie" do not properly appear on wedding invitations or reception cards. The time of day and the location determine the dress code. (After six o'clock in the evening is formal.)

Although some people are familiar with this point of etiquette, most are not. Therefore, you may wish to include "Black tie" on your reception cards to ensure that all of your guests know how to dress.

When using "Black tie," the B is uppercase and the t is lowercase. "Black tie" generally appears in the lower right-hand corner of the reception card. It does not appear on the invitation to the ceremony since it is the reception, not the ceremony, that is formal. When no reception card is used, "Black tie" appears in the lower right-hand corner of the invitation. If you do not like corner lines on invitations, you may include a reception card to indicate the type of dress.

What does "White tie" signify?

White-tie events are even more formal than black-tie events. They require men to wear white tie, wing collar, and tailcoat. Women wear evening gowns.

What does "R.s.v.p." stand for?

"R.s.v.p." is French for "Repondez s'il vous plait." Its use on an invitation requires a response.

My reception is being held at my parents' house. How are my reception cards worded?

If your parents are hosting your wedding and their names are on the first line of the wedding invitations, the location lines on the reception cards show their home address. Your guests will know that it is their address because no other names are mentioned. When reply cards are not sent, the corner line on the reception cards reads "The favour of a reply is requested," "R.s.v.p," or "R.S.V.P." Your parents' address is not shown beneath the reply request since it has already been given in the body of the reception card.

My reception is being held at a friend's house. How is that worded?

When a reception is held at the home of a friend, your friend's name and address are given on the location lines. A line reading, "at the residence of" precedes his or her name and address.

My fiancé and I are saving our money to buy a house. Therefore, we would rather receive cash than gifts. How do we let our guests know this?

While an occasional bride and groom establish a money tree and ask their guests to contribute toward it, is still considered incorrect and in very poor taste to ask your guests for money. First of all, it is presumptuous on your part to expect a gift from everybody to whom invitations are sent. Second, a number of your guests will probably want to give you a special gift to be remembered by. Asking for money directly is much too mercenary. (Of course, there is no reason why your parents, when asked, could not suggest a check).

We have more household items than we could ever possibly use. How can we let our guests know that it is not necessary to give us any gifts?

Generally considered acceptable only when done by an older couple, a line reading, "No gifts, please" may be placed in the lower right-hand corner of your reception cards. A much nicer way of doing it, however, is to enclose a separate card with your invitations that reads, "Your presence is the only gift we request."

Our wedding is being held in a church and our reception will be at my parents' country club. Where on the invitations does the reception information appear?

Weddings and receptions held at separate locations are considered separate events and require separate invitations. Reception cards serve as invitations to the reception and are used whenever the wedding and the reception are held in different locations. In the case of a formal wedding, it is not proper to put the reception information on the wedding invitation itself.

If you are doing a less formal wedding invitation and wanted to combine the wedding and the reception information on one invitation, you could add a couple of lines to the invitation beneath the city and state that read, "and afterwards at the reception / Sleepy Hollow Country Club," "and afterward at the reception / Sleepy Hollow Country Club / Scarborough," or "Reception to follow / Sleepy Hollow Country Club / Scarborough."

Is it proper to have guests respond by phone or fax?

Formal social invitations are always responded to in writing. The use of a telephone or fax machine for responses is reserved for business and informal social occasions.

How do I let my guests know where I am registered?

It is in very poor taste to include a card announcing the store at which you are registered. That is too much like asking for a gift. The best way to let people know is by word of mouth.

We are having a formal wedding reception. I know that some of my friends do not own tuxedoes and I want them to feel comfortable attending in a suit. Is it proper to use "Black tie optional"?

The type of dress is never properly mentioned. The formality of dress is indicated by the time of day. (After six o'clock is considered formal.) "Black tie optional" is not correct and may cause confusion since it literally means that you may dress any way you please, with a tuxedo being one of the acceptable choices.

My reception is going to take place on a yacht. How is that worded?

The wording is similar to the wording on a standard reception card. The location line reads, "aboard the Mirabell" or whatever the name of the yacht is. The line beneath it shows the name of the yacht club or marina out of which it will sail.

How can we make sure that our guests don't miss the boat?

You may add two lines to the lower right-hand corner of your reception cards that read, "The Mirabell sails promptly at eight o'clock."